


'Live Easy' by Sakurai Sho and Ohno Satoshi

by oviparous



Series: Official Arashi Fan-fiction [6]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 00:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13559247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oviparous/pseuds/oviparous
Summary: Arashi are the authors of 'official Arashi fan fiction', fan fiction which they write themselves.This episode comes after the fans are polled with what kind of fic they want to read next: an Aimiya, with the prompt of 'OT5'. Sho volunteers to write it, with some help from Ohno.





	'Live Easy' by Sakurai Sho and Ohno Satoshi

To:  **Arashi (all members)**  
From:  **Head Manager**  
Subject:  **Fan poll results**

Hey guys. We’ve got a winner. This next fic that’s coming from you has got to be:

Pairing: Aiba Masaki/Ninomiya Kazunari  
Prompt: OT5  
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Friendship (it was a tie)  
Universe preferences: Non-AU

Good luck.

* * *

_**Monday, XX.XX.2018, 23:19—**_

Aiba: Guys what shall we do about the fic

Nino: I know for sure J doesn’t have time to work on it

Jun: Yeah, too busy filming drama, sorry

Ohno: I can help write it, but definitely not alone

Nino: Wait, I thought Sho-chan ships Ninoai? Where is he?

Ohno: He’s on my TV doing Ichimen like, right now.

Aiba: You think he’d want to write it?

_**23:57—**_

Sho: NINOAI IS MY SHIP AND I WILL PROTECT IT AT ALL COSTS

Aiba: Yay! So you’ll write it?

Sho: Sure. You think we should go full-out real for a mind-fuck, or should we just make a fake non-AU?

Ohno: Either way it’s a mind-fuck.

Nino: lol I’m cool with anything as long as Aiba-kun is

Aiba: Mind-fuck away

Jun: Thanks for writing, Sho-san. Love you

Ohno: Yo how about me

Jun: Leader the only thing you've got going on is a DVD release on Feb 2, you're fucking free, you should be volunteering to write the entire fic

Ohno: And you should be working and not texting, bye

Jun: Fuck you, Leader <3

Ohno: Sure, see you at home

* * *

Live Easy

There was an entire list.

“Crazy,” muttered Aiba under his breath as he scanned the 14-page typewritten letter detailing all the episodes he and Nino had shared over the years, explaining why they were Arashi’s One True Pairing. It read like a research paper, if Aiba’s rudimentary knowledge of research papers was anything to go by.

The other day, some of the Johnny’s Juniors had been reading their fan letters before the concert, and it inspired Aiba to ask his manager for some of the more recent ones addressed to him. The manager obeyed, bringing to him twenty sealed envelopes one afternoon before a Tensai! studio recording.

Aiba couldn’t decide if he regretted opening the one in his hands, because it made him think about Nino.

It was hard not to fall in love with the members. Over the 18 years they’d been a group, each of them had had feelings for another, in varying degrees of intensity, and sometimes it’d even been one person liking multiple members at the same time. They were famously good at managing each other’s feelings—it wasn’t just something they said for the media—and there was implicit understanding that whatever happened between whom was their business and their business only; Aiba never knew what exactly transpired between any of the other four.

Not all of the love was sexual. Not all the time, at least. Ohno and Aiba had made out countless times, but it never seemed to progress further than that. They weren’t even holding back; they were just… _content_. They liked the touching, and the kissing; and for Aiba, sometimes all it took was a look from Ohno to let him know he wasn’t alone, he was just as clueless, and they’d laugh, finding comfort in the very existence of each other.

Sho and Jun, however, were another story. They were similar, in a sense, all focused energy and meticulous etiquette when it came to making love. Aiba had even slept with them at the same time, just the once, and Sho and Jun had been so in tune with things that Aiba knew they’d done it many, many times before. They knew exactly how the other liked it, knew exactly how the other would like Aiba.

All this taught Aiba a lot about love. Love could mean sex and spontaneity and fun. It could mean comfort and affection with nothing but a hug. It was interesting to Aiba how ‘falling in love’ could mean so many things. Love was truly a spectrum.

And outside of this spectrum was Nino.

It was complicated with Nino, because Nino was Aiba’s favourite. It was completely justified; they were close enough as friends for even Johnny-san to notice. If not for their friendship, Aiba probably wouldn’t have been in Arashi in the first place.

Nino was sensitive about the topic, always treading carefully whenever it got brought up. He hated how it seemed to insinuate that Aiba lived in his shadow. He’d been public about how he felt for Aiba ever since they were juniors at the agency; he’d wanted the world to see it for what it was: genuine, no-holds-barred friendship. To say it was anything else was denying Nino’s intentions, and Nino loathed that, because as tacit as he tried to be about it, there was no denying that Aiba was his favourite as well.

Nino did things for Aiba, things he’d never do for other people. Aiba wasn’t fool enough to shout them out from the top of what could very well be the pinnacle of his—their—career, but he’d revealed one recently which made the shippers squirm in feels: Nino would fold the corners of pages in Shonen Jump as he read through the issue, marking the stories he knew Aiba would find interesting. Aiba had refrained from mentioning the other stuff Nino did for him: laying out his favourite slippers at the dentist’s office when he knew Aiba was coming right after him (there was a particularly comfortable pair), reminding him about birthdays and anniversaries (Nino had memorised all of Aiba’s family-related trivia early on), supplying him with that particular brand of gum Aiba liked that had been phased out of most convenience stores (Nino had bought them in bulk off the internet)… Nino didn’t do these things for the other three, as far as Aiba could tell.

When Aiba’s other lung collapsed in 2011 he spent his week off work conducting a major revision of his life choices, reflecting on everything he could think of, from eating habits to how he treated people. Everyone noticed this change—the other members, the agency management, the staff they worked together with every week. And Nino noticed this change the most. He didn’t actually say anything. He was just more responsive. Kinder. More loving.

Chika-san, Aiba's radio partner, had unintentionally gotten Aiba talking about his attitudes towards life on many an occasion, and Aiba had always struggled with whether or not to reveal that it’d been the second pneumothorax episode that triggered his renewed outlooks. He decided he couldn’t be honest on a public platform like radio, especially since the truth was so tangled with the love no one but the members knew about.

He’d listened to that episode of Baystorm in which Nino had praised him, saying something about how he’d want Aiba to preside over his funeral if Aiba had been a priest, since he was ‘becoming a better person as he got older’. It put Aiba in a great mood for days. Nino teased him about it with funny looks and knowing smiles, sans insults. Aiba just kept falling harder.

Aiba was Nino’s favourite. That’s what made it complicated. They both wanted something more, but they both lacked the guts to carry things through, and they both kept letting their feelings for the others get in the way. It made the sex dreadful on several occasions. There were times they’d hesitated and aborted their attempts; times they went through with it and ended up arguing about how things were or were not going to change. It only made things harder when they had to appear as Team Sobusen to the rest of the world right after these episodes. It helped that they were all good actors, Nino one of the best at that, but the pain that it put them through—Aiba wondered if it was worth it. A part of him wanted to cut Nino off, to tell Nino he had enough, that they were just going to keep up the charade for the camera and never see each other in private unless they had to fool the staff and pretend they were still on good terms, and even then they could make up some story.

Aiba folded the fan-letter and placed it back in the envelope, sighing.

***

There weren’t going to be any solos for the upcoming tour. Instead, they were having unit songs, and of course the staff put Aiba and Nino in a unit by themselves, _of course_.

“You’ll be okay?” asked Ohno after a meeting one night, as they waited for their managers to drive the cars over. He was the only one who didn’t have a dedicated partner: for one of the songs, he was grouped with Aiba and Sho, and for another, he was with Nino and Jun. Jun and Sho formed one unit by themselves, and they’d automatically started talking about their song after the big meeting, prompting Ohno to leave early since Nino and Aiba were going out for dinner to discuss their song anyway.

“It’s work,” Aiba gave a brief smile, “I’ll be fine.”

He’d confided his worries about Nino to Ohno a couple days back, something he would normally never do, but Aiba had been at the end of his tether, and Ohno had been so, so kind. They’d met in the recording booth, Ohno finishing up and Aiba just getting ready to begin, and Ohno had taken one look at Aiba’s face before discreetly placing the back of his hand in the small of Aiba’s back, guiding him to an empty mic closet where he proceeded to kiss Aiba softly and surely, the way he always did when he knew something was up. Aiba had ended up telling him everything, how he wanted to be with Nino for real, everything.

“Nino loves you,” said Ohno, a reminding note in his voice, “very much.”

“Right,” said Aiba. He put on a surgical mask as he saw the car pull up outside the glass doors of the lobby. “See you, Leader.”

Ohno waved. “Don’t overthink.”

***

It was always there, the temptation to touch, whenever they were alone like this. Sure, they were being earnest and hardworking, coming up with a few good ideas between them, but Aiba knew there’d be an attempt—a meaningful pause, or a brush of fingertips, or a prolonged bout of laughter—that would disrupt the balance.

The question was who’d be the first to snap.

“I like the idea of an inside joke,” said Aiba, tapping at the suggestion Nino had penned down on his notepaper. “But it’s gotta be something inventive, you know?”

“Yeah. Inane, yet genius.” Nino took a sip of his beer. “Like the thing we did for Sho-chan’s birthday. Fishnet stockings and all.”

“Except this has got to scream _us_.” Aiba nodded. “A unique Ninomiya-Aiba flavour, that’s what we need.”

Nino laughed. “Define us, then.”

And there it was—the attempt. Nino was waiting for Aiba to react, his gaze loaded, expectant. Aiba didn’t hate this, yet he couldn’t bring himself to love it. It always led to something more, something honest—often horribly honest.

“You know I can’t,” said Aiba, his voice low. “Let’s get back to the topic.”

“I am on the topic.” Nino sounded gentler now. “This is our unit song, Aiba-kun. I’m not asking too much. We have boundaries to work within here. Come on.”

Maybe Aiba was being too sensitive. Maybe Nino wasn’t trying to be difficult, not tonight.

“We’re best friends,” said Aiba, settling on the safest definition.

“Actually, Kazama’s your best friend,” Nino points out.

“Yeah, but he’s not in our group. You and I have been friends longer than anyone in our group has been.”

Nino mulled upon this for a few seconds before drawing his notepad over to him and jotting it down. “I don’t touch you as much as I used to.”

Aiba raised his eyebrows.

“On camera,” Nino rectified.

Aiba relaxed. “Yeah. You don’t.”

“You think people want to see us touching?”

This made Aiba laugh. “Nino, people _always_ want to see us touching. Especially if we’re Sho-chan and Matsujun, but let’s not go there.”

Nino burst into a series of laughs, and Aiba indulged in it, letting himself believe they were just two people enjoying each other’s company, with no commitments to anyone, that however they chose to present themselves never affected their livelihood.

“Sometimes I wish we weren’t doing this,” said Nino suddenly. He was still smiling, but his smile wasn't pleasant.

“We’ve gone over this, Nino.” Aiba felt his heart ache. The conversation had been going so well.

“I know.” Nino sighed and rubbed his palm down his face. “It’s just, this year…” Nino looked at the door, contemplating their privacy. “Never mind. Walls have ears. It’s not a talk I want to have here.”

They fell quiet. Aiba knew what Nino was getting at. It’d been their year, sort of, starting with the end of Ohno’s radio show, effectively leaving him and Nino the only people in Arashi to host something that fans had a direct line to, and the fans had been using it pretty well, asking questions neither of them would entertain if they weren’t on that platform. Then Nino came and guested on Aiba’s show to promote his movie, and now with this unit song thing… It was a lot of attention, which meant it was good for the group. As long as it was good for the group.

“We’re done for tonight.” Aiba flipped Nino’s notepad closed before meeting his eyes. “Come home with me.”

***

When Nino entered Aiba's apartment, the first thing he did after toeing off his sandals was to give Aiba a hug. It was the beginning of summer and the air-conditioning had barely kicked in, and Aiba had worked up a sweat from changing the sheets and pillowcases (he'd asked Nino to wait a few minutes before coming up), but Nino didn’t seem to care.

“How long has it been?” asked Nino, pressing his face into the side of Aiba’s neck.

“A long time.” Aiba thought about their last rendezvous. It ended in a row over how it wasn’t going to work with them being in Arashi. One of the more disastrous encounters, then. “A week before my birthday.”

“Ah.” Nino paused, remembering. “Sorry about that.”

Aiba gave a mirthless laugh. “It’s funny how we keep trapping ourselves in this cycle.”

Nino drew back to look up at him. “Maybe it’s not that.”

“Not what?”

“Not a cycle,” said Nino. “Maybe we just have to be alone for a while to realise we can never leave each other.”

The words barrelled into Aiba, and he held Nino’s hands tightly. “You and your poetry.” Aiba bumped foreheads with Nino. “When are you going to write a song about me?”

“I already have.” Nino grinned, before pulling back and yelling a slightly off-key ‘bokura da’, making Aiba laugh.

“You said that wasn’t about me.”

“It _was_ about you!”

“It was about _us_.”

“That counts, doesn’t it?” Nino leant in to kiss Aiba softly on the lips. It was brief, but he lingered when it ended, touching the tips of their noses together.

Aiba smiled. “So you’re saying I’m special?"

Nino just smirked. “Why do you like me to use words so much?”

“Because I like being assured.”

Nino shook his head, smiling. He framed Aiba’s face with his hands and kissed him again, deeper this time. For all the barbed insults Nino hurled at Aiba for entertainment’s sake, the Nino Aiba knew like this was incredibly gentle, perhaps a lot more enthusiastic than what people perceived his homebody, gamer persona to be.

“Need the shower,” said Nino, breaking off from the kiss.

“You can use the one in the bedroom. I’ll use the other one.”

“No,” said Nino firmly. “You’re coming in with me.”

Aiba laughed. “You know how we get distracted in there.”

“Yeah, but it’s been too long.”

The way Nino was saying it—matter-of-fact, no hint of coyness and completely insistent—it made Aiba want to run away with Nino and spend the rest of his life loving him without having to think about anything else. But things weren’t so simple. Aiba travelled his hands up Nino’s arms to massage the bony part of his shoulders with his thumbs.

“We can’t be together,” said Aiba, wishing it wasn’t true, at the same time not knowing if it actually was.

Nino forced a smile. “If my memory serves me correctly, your exact words were ‘come home with me’?”

“I’m not—” Aiba gave a frustrated sigh before crushing Nino into a hug. “When I’m with you I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, like it’s chilling and falling into itself—”

“You sure it’s not indigestion?”

“ _Nino_. It’s fear and longing, don’t you see? Being with you makes me want so many things. I can’t possibly have them all.”

Nino sighed. “Fine. Tonight I’ll just let you have one.”

***

“You gotta know I hadn’t planned for us to have sex tonight,” said Aiba later as he welcomed Nino to his bed. Aiba had pulled on a T-shirt and underwear because the air-conditioning had gotten him rather cold. Nino, on the other hand, was naked.

“Were you hoping for it, though?” asked Nino, raking his hand through his wet hair as he crossed the mattress on his knees.

“I tried not to think about it. I just wanted to get the work done.”

“That’s noble. I, for one, was hoping for it,” said Nino simply, before falling on top of Aiba and kissing him.

Nino had never changed. Never. Not fundamentally, not the way Aiba had. Aiba knew him inside out. It was easy being with Nino, so easy, but consequently terrifying, because Aiba could get so lost in Nino he forgot himself.

It never happened with the other members. He trusted them whole-heartedly, but they never made him feel as safe as Nino did. It probably came from two decades of friendship and Nino never betraying his feelings, right from the time they’d come together as Arashi and Nino had wanted to quit despite Aiba being overjoyed they were going to debut. Aiba had long known about Nino’s filmmaker dreams, and they’d spent several hours holding hands in Nino’s room and saying nothing, knowing it made no sense to get upset about anything.

“You’re always so honest with me,” said Aiba, looking up into Nino’s eyes, luminous and focused and tinted with desire.

Nino quirked a smile. “Well, I have nothing to lose.”

Then there was a thought, a thought that Aiba had pushed away whenever it surfaced, but today curiosity was getting the better of him, and he decided to ask.

“When you’re with the others,” Aiba paused longer than was needed, wanting Nino to understand what he really meant, “are you this honest with them?”

Nino stiffened at Aiba’s question. It was a tacit understanding that they didn’t talk about what they did with the others, though Aiba had sort of broken that rule when he told Ohno about his feelings for Nino.

“Sometimes. It depends on how we’re feeling.”

Aiba nodded. “Same.”

Nino relaxed. “But not like this. With you, it’s…”

“Easy?” suggested Aiba.

Nino hesitated. “Easi _er_. They’re all pretty easy to talk to, but there are these - these walls. All of you put them up. All four of you.”

“I get it.” Aiba arched up to give Nino a peck on the lips. “You have walls too.”

Nino sank deeper into the kiss, and he said against Aiba’s mouth: “I wish they weren’t there.”

But there had to be, because they were idols, they were number one, they were influential, rich, famous… The walls protected them. But they also made them miserable because of how they loved each other. Maybe not all five of them, though these two definitely were.

“You’re my favourite, Nino,” whispered Aiba, as Nino crowded him into a space between the pillows. “I’ve always loved you the most. Always.”

Nino didn’t say anything; he climbed on top of Aiba, reaching down to palm both their cocks in his hand, keeping his gaze on Aiba the whole time.

Aiba wrapped a hand around Nino’s, wanting to feel how close they were. He stroked Nino’s cheek with his other hand, wishing Nino would say it back.

“Nino.” Aiba pressed his hips up against Nino's. “ _Nino._ ”

Then Nino let go of Aiba, a frown clouding his face. He licked his lips, the way he did when he wanted to keep the nerves at bay.

“I haven’t been sleeping with the others.” Nino locked gazes with Aiba. “I stopped. Couple years ago.”

There was a swallowing silence. Aiba could feel his heart pounding in his throat as he realised what Nino meant.

“You’re not just my favourite,” said Nino, a picture of calm, though Aiba knew better.

“I didn’t know," said Aiba, numbly.

“Yeah, I guessed.” Nino managed a smile as he fell back on his haunches.

“I…” started Aiba lamely, reaching out for Nino, but halfway through he let his hand drop, unable to reciprocate Nino’s resolve. He wasn’t sure he could just love Nino; he’d spent so long loving all of them, thinking of that as the status quo.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Nino gave Aiba’s knee an encouraging squeeze. “I expected this. I know how you feel about us.” Nino slid off the bed. “Listen. I didn’t expect to tell you this tonight, or ever, for that matter—” Nino offered Aiba a wry smile, “—but like you said, I’ve always been honest with you.”

Aiba felt like crying. “Nino. I’m sorry. It’s not about the others, it’s me. I’m sorry.”

“No. Don’t be.” Nino gave a sigh. “I’m sorry too. That we’re on opposite ends of the same side, you know?”

“We could be on the same end.” Aiba tried to sound enthusiastic. “I could try.”

“How?” Nino laughed. Aiba was impressed that Nino could find the gumption to laugh in this situation. “Listen. I still love the way you love, even if it’s not my way.”

Aiba felt the familiar stinging in his nose, and he blinked back the heat prickling his eyes. What exactly was his way? “It’s not fair to you.”

“Who said love needed to be fair?” Nino shrugged. He turned his head to and fro, before spotting what he was looking for: the lube and condoms on the nightstand. “It’s okay, Aiba-kun. Really. I’ll still have sex with you, if you’ll let me.”

“I’m gonna be such a jerk if I say yes,” moaned Aiba, throwing his face into his hands.

“You know you want to,” teased Nino, prying Aiba’s feet apart with his knees. “Come on, I’ll top.”

“ _Nino._ ”

“I want this.” It was more plea than request. “Aiba-kun.”

Aiba fell quiet. Nino kissed him, reassuringly, before slicking his forefinger with lube and pressing it against Aiba’s hole. Aiba gasped into Nino’s mouth, partly from the coolness of the gel, but also because it had been a long time since they were together.

That night, as they rocked into each other, sharing kiss upon fervent kiss, Aiba decided he had to reconsider his options. He wasn’t exactly sure what they were, but if Nino wanted him this much, then he too wanted to give Nino more.

***

Sho and Jun were breaking up.

Or more accurately, they decided they wanted to ‘just be friends’.

Aiba hadn’t expected anything to threaten his relationships with any of the members, but Sho and Jun falling out of love with each other was unprecedented. They’d been on again, off again since the beginning of time, but that was just them being them; they never stopped wanting each other.

Never.

“How do you know?” demanded Aiba in a whisper, when they told him during concert rehearsal. “You guys are always saying you don’t love each other!”

Sho exchanged a look with Jun. “Told you this would be hard,” muttered Sho.

“It’s for real this time,” said Jun. “We’ve grown up. We had a good run.”

Aiba gaped. The nerve.

“This isn’t something you treat lightly,” said Aiba, his voice shaking. “This thing we have - we all have—”

“We’ll still have it. Sort of. I don’t know.” Jun sighed. “We’ve lost our connection, Aiba-chan. We’re not saying we’ll never get it back, but right now…”

“We don’t want to fuck each other’s brains out,” Sho finished flatly. “I still love him,” Sho gestured to Jun, “but I think it’s more like how I love a friend. I know you can technically still fuck your friends, but you’ve got to be attracted to them a certain way first, and for me and Matsujun…”

“It’s gone,” said Jun, nodding.

“But you’re still finishing each other’s sentences!” moaned Aiba.

“Yeah, it’s been really hard keeping that out of the public eye.” Sho laughed. “Now there’s nothing romantic between us, we can just stop pretending to be distant from each other and just…” He trailed off, shooting a glance at Jun.

“Hug and kiss on stage,” suggested Jun. “Then insert our famous gap the next week, and alternate between the two states. It’ll mess with people’s minds and light Twitter afire.”

“Hey, those were my words.” Sho grinned.

“Anyway, we’re telling you because we just wanted you to know that we’ll still be here for you,” said Jun. “Or, in Sho-san’s words…”

“You’re still a friend we would fuck,” said Sho solemnly.

Aiba shot them a look of disgust and went off in search of confectionery to drown his woes in.

***

“Chocolate cake is always the answer,” said Aiba knowledgeably, waving his fork around and spraying crumbs all over the table. “Have stupid friends? Eat cake.”

Nino snorted, not looking up from his phone. “If _your_ friends went by that logic, they’d all be really fat.”

“Don’t be mean,” scolded Aiba, though he knew Nino was just saying it for other people to hear. There were a couple of their managers hanging around and several members of the production team, laughing as they heard Nino’s joke, someone making a jibe about how Nino was friends with Aiba too, and Nino saying that was exactly his point, because he’d put on two kilos recently.

Aiba leant across the table, dropping his voice. “Did you hear about Sho-chan and Matsujun?”

Nino’s flicked a glance at the staff before looking at Aiba. “They told me this morning.” He paused. “Now’s not the time. Let’s talk tonight. Leader’s room.”

***

It made Aiba feel guilty, like they were doing something behind Jun’s and Sho’s backs that didn’t involve some sort of pleasant surprise. They hadn’t had to do this before, because Jun and Sho had always been rock solid.

“Maybe that’s it,” said Ohno lazily from his bed as he scrolled through an internet shopping site on his phone, no doubt looking at lures. “We’ve been lying to ourselves. They’ve been as vulnerable as anyone of us have.”

“Not us,” protested Aiba, gesturing towards him and Ohno, “nor us.” He jabbed his thumb in Nino’s direction.

“You’re different with us,” said Ohno plainly. “You know that. We’re different with everybody.”

“Don’t you love them?” asked Aiba, his voice small.

Ohno looked up from his phone; Nino finally looked away from the TV.

“Of course we love them,” said Ohno gently. “We just don’t need them to love each other for us to love them.”

Nino prodded Aiba’s foot with his. “We don’t even need to sleep with each other for us to love each other.”

Aiba nodded gloomily and flapped his hand at Ohno. “Case in point.”

Nino frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Oh-chan and I have never slept with each other.”

“Never?” Nino sounded genuinely surprised as he looked back and forth between the two. Ohno shook his head.

“Now that’s a revelation,” said Nino, wonder in his voice. “I always thought you guys…” Nino gave a short laugh. “Wow. I was talking about myself, really.”

Aiba looked up. “Oh yeah, I forgot—you’ve stopped sleeping with the others.”

The air went still.

“So you two…?” Ohno ventured, and Nino got onto his knees so he could reach over and take a swipe at Aiba’s head.

“You didn’t say it was a secret,” Aiba swiftly defended, catching Nino’s wrist.

“It’s not really a secret,” Nino continued smoothly, looking at Ohno, “but I have boundaries when it comes to privacy. Bearing in mind how we’ve spent the last fifteen years or so not talking to each other about these things, it still makes me uncomfortable.”

“It shouldn’t.” Ohno chuckled. “Come on, Nino. We’ve never talked, but we’ve all known.”

“I just found out seconds ago that you and Aiba-chan have never had sex. Privacy, Leader. Don’t say you’re not big on it.”

“Okay, fine. I get you.”

Aiba studied Ohno and Nino for a moment. “Why haven’t we all had sex together?”

This earned a stare from Ohno and Nino.

“What, all five of us?” asked Nino.

“Yeah.”

“Because we would never get away with it?” joked Ohno. “Have you heard Nino or Sho-chan in bed?”

“More realistically,” interjected Nino, “I think it’s because emotionally we’ve all been in different places, at different times of our lives. There was a time I couldn’t stand J, remember?”

“How about now?” Aiba mused out loud. “Do you guys think Sho-chan and Matsujun would say yes if I proposed the five of us—”

“Aiba-chan, if you’re doing this just so Sho-kun and Matsujun can get back together…” Ohno’s voice was laced with pity. “It’s not going to happen.”

“So you guys are okay with this?” Aiba felt a flash of anger. “You’re just… letting this happen?”

Ohno and Nino exchanged a look.

“I’m going out for a breather,” said Aiba, getting to his feet.

“This is Sapporo, Aiba-chan. You’re gonna freeze in the breather.”

“Then I’m going back to my room.” Aiba set his mouth in a firm line. “Good night.”

With that, Aiba strode out, leaving his bandmates staring bewilderedly after him.

***

Aiba couldn’t believe it. He’d locked himself out of his room. Again.

It was three in the morning and he’d somehow mistaken the door for his bathroom door, and it was just embarrassing, really—when would he ever learn?

Also, he really needed to pee.

Aiba ransacked his brain for a room number. He remembered Ohno was on the 12th floor from his visit hours ago, but Nino had been in the lead then and Aiba had just followed without paying attention to where exactly they were going, _why_ was this his life—

“Aiba-kun?”

“Oh my god _Sho-chan_ ,” gushed Aiba thankfully, rushing towards Sho, his saviour, his potential key magician. “I’ve been locked out of my room, could you call Reception and ask them to unlock it please?”

Sho groaned. His face was ruddy and his breath smelt like beer; he’d been drinking somewhere. “Honestly, Aiba-chan,” he grumbled, “why does this keep happening to you?”

Sho led Aiba to his room, and Aiba squeaked his thanks before charging into the toilet. He heard Sho opening the mini-bar, and the crack of a water bottle opening, following by a series of glugging sounds. Sho had always been a noisy drinker.

Aiba finished with his business and washed his hands, wiping them on one of the fresh towels on the rack. “Sorry about this, Sho-chan.”

“S’okay.” Sho put down the water bottle and picked up the receiver of the phone. “What’s your room number?”

It was then that Aiba realised he had Sho, right in front of him, in private, for the first time in ages.

“Actually…” Aiba stepped further into the room. “Could I talk to you for a bit?”

Sho eyed Aiba suspiciously. “You didn’t stage all this just to seduce me, did you?”

“What?”

“I mean, you’re not wearing pants.”

“Sho-chan, I didn’t…” Aiba blinked. “Unless you want to?”

Sho had the good grace to consider it. “Nah. Too tired, too drunk.”

“Okay.”

They stared at each other for a moment longer before Sho put the phone back in its cradle. “What’s up?”

Aiba gave Sho his best attempt at a smile. “I’m afraid things will change. For all of us. Now that you and Matsujun aren’t together.”

Sho frowned. “How?”

“You’re proof that we can stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop loving.” Tears sprang to Aiba’s eyes. “Now it’s you guys, but who knows who’ll be next?”

“Aiba-kun, come on.” Sho’s speech was slightly slurred; he seemed to be aware of it, and chugged from the water bottle again, probably hoping hydration would make him more sober. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, shaking his head at Aiba. “It’s easier this way. No more hiding. Don’t you want that?”

Aiba did, but there was something more important at stake. “We’ve been Arashi for so long because of these relationships we can’t tell anyone about. Don’t you get it? These secrets have tied us together in a way that nothing else can. We hate it sometimes, but it’s served us well.”

Sho sighed. “Aiba-kun, why do you want to torment yourself like this?”

“I’m not _tormenting_ myself—”

“We’re stronger than this,” Sho cut in, eyes flashing. “You can’t possibly only have faith in this group’s longevity just because we’re capable of blackmailing each other with what we know.”

“I didn’t mean that,” said Aiba, appalled. “I would never betray any of you.”

“I know. I’m just trying to get a point across.” Sho sat down heavily on the foot of the bed. “It’s not just me and Matsujun, you know. There’s Nino, too.”

“What about Nino?” asked Aiba, his heart suddenly racing.

Sho was suddenly cautious. “It’s not my place to say, if you don’t already know.”

But Aiba knew. “He stopped having sex with you.”

“And do you know why?” Sho’s gaze was unrelenting, very impressive for someone who wasn’t quite sober.

Aiba worried the inside of his lip, unsure of what to say.

“He never came clean about it,” continued Sho, “but Jun and I think it was because he chose you.”

Aiba looked down at his toes. “It’s an assumption, you’re saying.”

“Even if it is, I don’t think we’re wrong.”

“I don’t want to talk about Nino.” Aiba looked up. “I want to talk about you. And Matsujun.”

“Nope,” said Sho firmly. “That between him and me. If you want to talk and leave Nino out of the picture, we’re gonna talk about you.”

Sho was playing big brother, and it was the first time Aiba was resenting it. “There’s nothing about me to talk about,” said Aiba coldly.

“Oh?” Sho sounded downright obnoxious; it wasn’t a tone Aiba heard from Sho very much anymore. “You’re the one who cares about this the most, Aiba-kun. You’ve made it all your business. That’s why it’s bothering you.”

Aiba couldn’t retaliate. Sho was right. He could only seethe.

“I’m not trying to be mean,” Sho went on, adjusting his tone to fit his words. “I see why. You’ve been loved, Aiba-kun. We’ve all loved you. And I think you’re the only one who’s gotten that treatment.”

Aiba wasn’t catching on. “You guys love each other too.”

“Not the way we love you.” Sho sighed. “See, there was never any drama with you. You never thought about leaving the group. You never got on any of our bad sides. You work your ass off, more so than any of us at any given time. And then you wrote that letter to us in 2004 that basically sealed the deal. You’ve always been special to each of us. That’s what’s clouding your judgment. You’re not seeing through our eyes. You’ve been _too loved._ ”

Aiba didn’t know what to say to this. He’d never thought about it this way.

“For what it’s worth, Aiba-kun—I don’t think Arashi will ever go to shit as long as you’re around, and you sure as hell don’t have to be in love with any of us for it to work, because we’ll love you anyway.”

***

They managed to steal a pocket of time away in Fukuoka, crowding into Ohno’s room just like how they used to, except this time it wasn’t just about work—they were actually going to get naked and do this.

It didn’t matter that some of them didn’t need to or didn’t want to have sex with each other. Those people didn’t have to take it there if they didn’t want to. Sex didn’t always equal emotional intimacy, and that’s what they were striving for here. It’d taken a lot of orchestration on Aiba’s part, but he was indeed as loved as Sho had claimed, and had managed to convince everyone to take part quite easily.

“Can’t we just go to an onsen or something?” grumbled Nino. “I get the idea, but if we don’t _have_ to have sex—”

“I just think it’s important to have it as an option,” asserted Aiba. “That’s the point of this whole exercise.”

“This is the weirdest team-building thing we’ve done so far, I’ll give you that,” said Jun, peeling off his socks.

“It could be worse,” Sho intoned. “It could’ve been _filmed_.”

“Anyone else need alcohol?” asked Ohno, holding up a bottle of shochu and a glass.

“You guys talk so much,” groaned Aiba.

It did take a while for everyone to really warm up to the idea of being intimate all at the same time, and even Aiba had to admit it was rather funny when everyone who wasn’t him paid obeisance to Nino asking him for permission to maybe fuck Aiba, and though Nino argued that he didn’t have dibs on Aiba, it was obvious that both Nino and Aiba were pleased that the others recognised that they had an extra-special relationship, one that was regarded as sacred even amongst them.

And then there was another round of paying respects to the time-and-tried One True Pairing, Ohmiya SK, and for continuity they also sought permission for the newly-broken up ShoJun, and because it was the kind of stupid thing Arashi did, they rounded it off by acknowledging the YamaTaro pair. They did want to end it with Ohno and Sho but they pulled the stopper in that, saying they didn’t want to be thought of as more senior because they didn’t want their stamina to be judged. It was hardly a prelude to what was to come, but it was how they worked, and Aiba frankly adored that.

They did a lot of wild things that night, but Aiba’s favourite was when he’d arranged himself between Sho and Jun, leaning against the headboard for support, and had Nino get into his lap, back facing him. Ohno found a place in front of Sho, weaving himself into Sho’s arms as they waited for Aiba to give further instruction.

“This formation is called ‘I can kiss everyone’!” declared Aiba triumphantly, and he proceeded to demonstrate. It quickly escalated into everyone helping Nino prep so he could sink down onto Aiba, and while there was a lot of giggling and scolding, when it finally happened it was super hot for everyone involved. Jun was helping to pump Nino’s cock, his lips pressed against Aiba’s temple as Aiba fingered him; Nino occasionally arched back to occupy Aiba’s mouth, otherwise he was busy kissing Ohno; Ohno was getting prepped by Sho, who was alternating between kissing Ohno and Nino and Aiba as he kept his fingers working inside Ohno. It was messy and poor Ohno probably had to sleep somewhere else that night with all the gunk that was getting on his sheets, but at the end of the night, when all of them were spent and smiling (while still sober!), Aiba knew he’d done the right thing.

***

“Do you think we’d ever all have sex together again?” asked Aiba, mashing potatoes in Nino’s kitchen.

Nino wrinkled his nose. “I don’t know. I personally only want to have sex with you. I think a lot of fans would actually support that if we ever got the guts to tell the world about us.”

“Our UB dance got people really riled up, huh?”

Nino laughed. “When we were rehearsing I was actually afraid I’d get a boner, but the dance was actually a lot harder than it looked. My brain refused arousal.”

“Yeah. I had boners thinking about it after, though. When I got home and all.”

“What about when you watched our rehearsal clips?”

“Ah, now that you’ve mentioned it…”

The one thing that their ‘intimacy session’, as Aiba now labelled it, did for them was to cement the fact that they would never break up, no matter what the future held for each of their relationships. It helped Aiba and Nino feel a lot better about being serious with each other—it was where they’d wanted to head all these years, and their fear of disrupting the balance had been

* * *

_**Sunday, XX.XX.2018, 13:19—**_

Nino: SAKURAI, THE FIC ISN’T FINISHED

Sho: Sorry you guys. I ran out of steam, and Ohno-kun said leaving it mid-sentence made it kind of artsy

Jun: I actually like it? Most of the ending is there already

Sho: Thanks Matsujun <3

Aiba: What happened to Nino and me in the end?! Did we eat the mashed potatoes?

Ohno: It’s up to your imagination

Aiba: I say we eat them!!!

Nino: I hope the fans are okay with this

Sho: Lighten up. It’s only fan fiction. ;)


End file.
